Get free passes to watch Wimbledon from Mashable!

Check ‘em out at Facebook.

It’s unfortunate, for me at least, how tennis dictates, so much, who I am, even what type of person I am. How I feel about myself, when it comes down to it, tennis is me, without it it’s pretty hard to imagine really being happy with myself. I read a post once on a MySpace blog that said something like how a sport becomes who you are, and for me, it’s true, 90% of the time.

I was playing a friend this evening, and I just wanted it to be over. Feels like I’m out there, but tennis isn’t the challenge anymore. I just can’t figure out what’s wrong, I just feel bad, things aren’t working anymore, and I don’t think I changed anything! I know my arm being injured has something to do with it, if not 80% to do with it (*shrug).

I was playing this morning, and I remembered saying that it felt like my spirit’s dying.

So I’m thinking (right now) about maybe trying a month off. But, for me, it would be really tough. So, I don’t know…

When I was at Arizona with Adam Altschuler, I felt more like a professional than I ever have, it just all seemed to come together for me there. Even, despite the injuries I was dealing with, and even when I realized how much more I had to learn and gain, I still felt it. But, since leaving, I just haven’t felt it anymore, I serve the same, but the ball just doesn’t leave the racquet the same. Same goes for the rest of my game. I really hope it’s my arm, and I really hope there’s something (a month off) I can do about it.

Just not looking forward to it, it’s tough to not be out there, working - it’s what I do.

But I really felt like giving it all up today, but I know now, that’s practically impossible - tennis really does have so much to do with who I am; especially being an athlete. I’m not sure if I’m solving anything, but I need to do something.

I want to go out there at least feeling like I’m doing my best. I was about a 7/10 before, today, I felt like a .2/10.

A month……….

I just got done playing with Jason this morning, and man, I have really lost my focus out there. It’s been my second day out there, and my arm is doing alright. I’m still nursing it (ice, etc) a little afterwards still.

But yeah, I really can’t seem to focus out there. But, I know it’s because I’ve been used to having to deal with my arm, and I’m not going to sweat it for now. Although, at practice today, it really got me down a couple times - felt like giving up.

But Jason just gave up on an already 3 hour long match, stareing directly at the sun the whole time! It was a frustrating match to say the least.

I was sitting down about a month ago, and wondered why I never really gave tennis lessons. I have given a few here and there, and I’ve been told I help, so I think I am going to give it a shot, and officially give lessons. I think I finally trust that might have an eye for good tennis.

Anyone that knows me, I’m not giving dinky ‘for fun’ lessons either, I want to help people that have a passion for the game and hard work. I want to help players become the best they can be, and once you’re the best in town, I want to help you become the best in the state.

So, I am going to start of charging $20 an hour, I think that’s fair. So, I just wanted to get that out there…